“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” –Charlie Brown
David Power’s excellent post: Brain Scans Reveal True Love reminded me about something I’d read regarding the impact of unrequited love.
Scientists have learned that when animals “mate”(not sure whether they mean romance or sex or both) specialised chemicals are released into their brains that enable behaviour to change. The main chemical,oxytocin,melts down established neural pathways so that new shared experiences can form and dominate. These shared experiences (no doubt including the odd bunch of flowers and box of chocolates!) accelerate bonding,co-operation and building of trust.
However,this meltdown tends to bring with it a frightening loss of identity and loss of self control,and usually evokes much anxiety (especially for first-timers). If the love is unrequited,and there are no shared bonding (that’s bonding!) experiences then you have:Anxiety + Mental vulnerability + Rejection = ….
Of course,if the lurrrve is reciprocated then there’s a whole pharmacy of other chemicals the body can choose from to deliver euphoria,ec*tasy and,well,a feeling of being out of control but in a different way!
My main source is an excellent book called Mapping the Mind,by Rita Carter. Go add it to your reading list…NOW!
…No,I’m not an affiliate,I’ve just got into the habit of barking “NOW”at my (nearly) 10 year old son!
Anyway,here’s a (quirky) video about unrequited love:
Very well written Post. Excellent content. Nice book recomendation.
Good visual.
Great Post.
Martin O’Connor
http://www.smallbusinessdesgincenter.com
Very interesting article. I love reading about animal instincts in humans and what drives us.
Lisa McLellan
Child Care Expert,
Babysitting Services,Babysitting Tips,Babysitters,Nannies
Cool Stuff!
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http://www.scottpayne.me
If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you it’s yours. If it doesn’t then hunt it down and kill it.
Steve Chambers,B2B Sale Trainer
That Steve Chambers is one tough hombre
Seize the Day,
Rob
Emergency Preparedness For the 21st Century Family
Steve,you frighten small children. And Big ones.
If you love it,set it free. Then go grab a piece of chocolate cake and a massage from your pool boy . . . if you remember his name,that one you just set free,when he returns then there may be a match.
Katie
And how awful unrequited love does feel. It either strengthens you for something/some one better or you jump off a cliff….
Kate
Indeed,unrequited love is no fun. That is in steep contrast to that video. I quite enjoyed that:-)
Health,Fitness for Working People —Darryl Pace
I’ve read about the affects of being in love before and I remember reading somewhere that the affects of oxytocin wears off after about 4 years. At first the feeling is euphoric but eventually your body builds a tolerance to it (like it would any drug). Maybe this is where those “cute”habits seem terribly annoying.
MissMentor
haha @ Steve’s comment. It’s so intriguing to learn how love actually affects us.
Bert (alter ego- Mister P)
MisterP.org/blog
Unrequited love versuses unrequited lust . . . which is more powerful?
Get Healthy,Katie
The girl from ipanema! classic!
and that is not real love,btw….
Happy Dating and Relationships,
April Braswell
Single Baby Boomer Dating Success Expert
@Rob Northrup
Steve is hilarious
Jose Escalante
http://www.joseescalante.com
I first learned about unrequited love from Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet”.
Greg Dougall,Philanthropist-in-Training