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As blogged yesterday, composure is an important aspect of poise.
I said composure not composer!
So how can you achieve this calm, balanced and centred state? One method that works for me is as follows:
- First, clear your mind (imagine a large blank white or black screen), and focus on the here and now, no matter what else is going on
- Get physiologically stable and comfortable. Stand with your body’s centre of gravity over your heels, with equal weight on each foot, and arms and hands hanging loose. Now imagine a cloud of helium balloons attached to the very top of your head, such that your spine lengthens comfortably as your body relaxes.
- Now control your breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nose, feeling your breath down around your abdomen rather than your chest. Breath out slowly through the mouth, with slightly pursed lips, for twice as long as the in-breath. Repeat this four times to the same rhythm. Then breathe normally again.
- Finally, smile as you look gracefully around the room, taking in the whole room. Smile as if here and now is exactly where you want to be, and as if you’re gently excited about what’s to come.
- Now you’re composed!
“Nothing baffles the schemes of evil people so much as the calm composure of great souls.” Comte de Mirabeau (French Writer, Orator and Statesman, 1749-1791)
www.martin-wright.com
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/nmcil/2641736269/
There’s a new website in town www.impactandpoise.com. It’s only a fledgling website, or maybe just an egg, but I’m hopeful it will delivers some new and interesting material in the near future.
It got me thinking…what is “poise”?
Well, to me, poise is:
- composure – free from embarrassment, nervousness etc; and
- good posture; and
- graceful movement; and
- dignity and authenticity; and
- a state of balanced readiness.
So why is poise important?
Poise underpins all the other things you do to make a great impression on the people you meet. It is the foundation from which you create impact, interest and influence, and build rapport, respect and trust. This makes it a powerful ally for success across all walks of life – in selling, dating, presenting (live or on video), in developing your personal brand, and in interviews - to name just a few.
What can I do to improve my poise?
There are no quick fixes, but there are things we can do to improve our poise across each of these areas. I’ll take you through these in tomorrow’s blog.
Photo credit: cindyiscrafty
www.martin-wright.com
“When you love people and have the desire to make a profound, positive impact upon the world, then will you have accomplished the meaning to life.” Sasha Azevedo (American Actress, Athlete and Model)
I was pondering earlier today about the many ways you can make an IMPACT.
The first question is of course “impact on what or whom”, which is a very good question to ask. I’m really talking about making a positive impact on other people – be it in business, in personal relationships or even (especially?!) in intimate relationships.
To explore the different areas, I found it helpful to break this down into the impact on the senses (apologies for the pseudo NLP):
- Visually there’s your appearance – your posture, your facial expressions, your body language , your clothes (if any!), accessories, presentation slides (if any – presumably not for intimate relationships!), positioning (definitely for intimate relationships!) etc
- From an auditory perspective there’s the quality of your voice – clarity, pitch, speed, tone, variety etc. and knowing when NOT to use your voice – listening to others. There is also the words you use – the stories you tell – the wisdom you impart, the information you provide or the romance you infuse.
- How you feel emotionally about the situation will impact your behaviour which will impact others’ behaviours, as will how you feel physically (steady now!)
- And then there’s smell: industries are built around smells for good reason – the powerful impact they can have and the covert impact they can have [I should invent a phrase for this. How about covert olfactosis? No, sounds more like a disease!]
- Finally, taste – making an impact through cooking or through your choice of a good restaurant, or good wine perhaps. It always amazes me how supremely sensitive our taste is and yet 99.9% of us lack the vocabulary to describe all the different flavours – unless of course we see what we’re eating, but that’s cheating!
I’m planning to cover off each of these areas in forthcoming blogs to provide you with some great tips to optimise your impact on others – in your personal life and in business - to get the results you want in life! [I'm not saying intimate isn't one of my areas of expertise, I just need to narrow things down a bit!]
It’s very raw, but I feel an e-book/mp3 coming-on!!
Let me know if there’s anything (on IMPACT) you’d like me to cover off – and no crash test dummies suggestions!
Martin
I drove to another country today. I live in England and drove to Wales. It doesn’t take too long – about an hour and a half. I made the most of my time alone in the car by listening to Covert Hypnosis: An Advanced Course in Unconscious Influence which contains some powerful material on subtly influencing people. I was travelling in our Mini Cooper, which is a great car for nipping around the city we live in, but not so relaxing for long journeys. If I had to do this journey every day I’d need a bigger car – more luxurious than sporty. The trouble is who can you trust when you buy a car.
My legs ached – in a nice way. I’d been to the gym the day before, but may have overdone it a bit. There’s no chance that I’m going to look like Mr Universe.
I got married in Wales, in a small village near Cardiff. The wedding was fantastic (of course I would say that). The lead-up to the wedding, however, was another story. The cost was being split 3 ways (two sets of parents and us) – BIG MISTAKE. If only I’d had a wonderfully wise wedding angel to guide me through the pitfalls.
Once with my client, business was quite quick. I utilised my best NLP selling skills, alongside tips from Bob Parsons, avoided customer objections, and impressed them with my Mont Blanc pen.
On the way back, I listened to Muse – quite a heavy (but classically trained) rock band. I turned the volume up, as you can in the car, but then moderated it a little – my Dad had suffered from Tinnitus, and I didn’t want to tempt fate. I had difficulty deciding on the way back whether to have a chocolate muffin or an apple. Health prevailed – we all know an apple a day is good for you.
I drove at 60 mph. I was low on petrol and driving at a reasonable speed was a great way to conserve fuel. I was keen to get back home. I had a blog to do and was keen to put in practice some superb blogging tips I’d learnt recently and some great ways to stand out from the blogging competition.
When I arrived home, the young babysitter looked very anxious. I could tell by her body language. The cats had been lying on my son’s bed as he slept, very close to his pillow, and she wasn’t sure what to do. I’d been reminded about the healing power of NLP just the previous day, and managed to pace and lead the babysitter into a more relaxed state. I suggested that she could get some superb guidance on babysitting if she really wanted to excel at babysitting.
It was way after midnight by the time I got to blog, I was tired and wanted my bed, but I had work to do, and I’d remembered reading recently that success takes hard work and was also inspired by a great football motivational speech. After blogging and commenting, I completed a quick Bugging In Survey, checked my progressive actions for the day, and headed for bed. No online dating for me tonight! At least tomorrow, the 22nd, would be an easy easy day.
So how do you get two whales in a Mini? … By driving straight down the M50 motorway!!
Sorry if I’ve missed anyone.
www.martin-wright.com
This is a classic playground question. It’s also a question that gets asked in different guises throughout your life. It starts with your friends and family, then your schoolteacher, then your ‘careers’ teacher, then in your first job interview, then from your boss…more bosses, more job interviews, retirement planners, more friends and family…and so it goes on. Sound familiar?
The thing is…how long does it take to decide!?
It always amazes me how few people are clear about what they want to do with their life. People change their minds…naturally…but very few people answer the question.
So what do you want to do with your life…? Are you sure…? How do you know you’re sure…?
You don’t have to share your answer with anyone else, but if you don’t have an answer for yourself, how do you know what you should do tomorrow? If you don’t ANSWER THE QUESTION NOW, how do you know the next step you should take towards being the person you want to be when you grow up!?
www.martin-wright.com
Tonight, a quote:
“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing” – Nike (David Beckham)
Have a great weekend, all.
www.martin-wright.com
I seem to have had an argumentative day today. Not because of problems or issues. I’ve just been argumentative – and I’ve quite enjoyed it!
It got me thinking…Are arguments a good thing or a bad thing?
Arguments can tease out ideas, opportunities, risks and issues.
Arguments can test soundness and robustness of plans before ideas are turned into action.
Arguments can change a persons thinking, and even, with certain skill, change a person’s beliefs.
Or……..not!
Arguments can destroy relationships – and Life is all about relationships.
So next time you begin to open your mouth to argue, ask yourself “Is our relationship up to it?”
Are arguments a good thing or a bad thing? The answer, as it so often is, is “It depends”.
What do you think?
www.martin-wright.com
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/80375783@N00/2266804375/
As I notice most of you, my loyal website visitors, seem to have a lot of leisure time, I’d thought I’d recommend a good book for you to curl up in bed with:
The Situation Is Hopeless, But Not Serious – by Paul Watzlawick
This is a light-hearted but serious look at how we can (and do) make everyday life miserable! Although it’s a psychology book, it’s very easy to read and is refreshingly short at just 121 A5 pages. I really enjoyed it, so if you like that sort of thing I suggest you put it on your list now.
www.martin-wright.com
Following on from my blog yesterday about grumpy old men, today I happened to meet an inspirational “golden oldie” who was made redundant earlier this year, and who changed track completely at the age of 55.
He set up an innovative photography company which takes photographs from an unusual angle – from the top of a special 50 foot mast which extends telescopically from the back of his pick-up. He shins up the mast – no not really – he stays on the ground operating the camera from a laptop which shows the precise view being photographed. His business is very successful and expanding quickly and into new areas.
He attributed his speed of success to:
- Good preparation
- Thorough research and
- Taking one step at a time
even though he’s achieved a massive amount – and changed himself – in a short space of time!
What was also fascinating to hear was that he didn’t think he’d changed!
www.martin-wright.com
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